August 17, 2008

My Father

My father had his moments of vacillating between father of the year to bastard of the century. Today I can remember more good than bad for I have reconciled with my inner child. I remember the wrestling and tumbling about with my father into the late of night. Memories of working with him were some of the best, his paying homage and bragging of how hard we worked filling me with his praise. Taking long drives, talking of nothing in particular, to serious imparting of knowledge and engaging in the communion of son and dad.

My father was a man of convictions and usually did what he thought right even if everyone else thought otherwise. He was as hard as they came, but at times he could surprise you with his kindness and length that he would go to help. He was there when I was on deaths door, every time I woke up, he was there. Whenever we were down he was there, solid and true keeping watch and radiating confidence, showing us that all will be seen through.

My father was a man of boundless potential hampered by a world refusing to bend to his will. He has been on top of the world and knocked back down into the swill. He was a bit of everything, in that regard I am the same.

My father was a changed man in his later years, for those of you that did not know him back then; he was a pill as my grandmother would say. He surprised me at times in these last few years, we found a middle ground and he told me that if he had it to do say the least he had regrets. I remember a conversation we had, I was telling him about my sons and how we were getting closer and how good it felt to feel like a good role model.

My father told me that he wished he had been too, I told him that I understood. I could not find the words then, but what I wanted to tell him things were as they should be. I would not be the man that I am today if things had been different, I might not have ever found out who I truly am.

My father
On the day that we had the ceremony to honor my father I wrote these words. It was a small and informal gathering of close friends and family. We all sat around in the couches and chairs and talked of the man who was my father.

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