January 4, 2012

ON Dealing with the Combat PTSD Veteran: We Came Home in Spirit as Warriors and Will Forever Be

Unconditional love is to surrender, it is faith in the other and spontaneity unleashed, it is emotional freedom and nurturing of the spirit. All of these things we had to shed before combat; we had to be steadfast, precise and deadly - the exact opposite of unconditional love. Now we are conditioned to it and operate from a Combat Values structure, which can leave our family and loved ones attachments broken. We can experience these states of mind and spirit again, but usually in spurts and sputters. We will develop a set of Signs to warn of our emotional states, we came home in spirit as Warriors and will forever be.

It may take time to learn your veterans triggers, warning signs, and different ways of coping depending on their stress level. When stress levels are high your veteran will be operating from a Warrior Persona and defensive operational procedures will be exhibited. If you keep killing yourself from expectations of your Vet during this time, resentments can build and interfere with your subconscious intentions and interactions with her. If you expect him to call all day and he doesn't - then you have made yourself feel like shit; self made suffering. Many times we will operate from our expectations, intentions and resentments and we must constantly check ourselves for these three relationship wreckers.

When stress levels are high; Expectations, Intentions and Resentments – The 3 Generals of Chaos (3GC) – This Triad of Chaos can wreck havoc on communication, understanding and empathy; Expectations erects barriers between people. Intentions fortifies those walls and Resentments assails those defensive barriers just because they are there. Reason becomes absent, logic rules and only applies to those who can wield it with surgical precision to serve Righteous Indignation, Defamation and Demoralization. – A false belief system maintains a Defensive State of Mind and creates a culture of aggression; providing the fuel for chaos, discord and strife. More on this later…


  1. wshat a lod of shit. yh0out think you know ptsgd becaue you a brad driver?
    step outsi8d edand ytell me what is ptsd . fuck all od you that felel sorry for soldiers. we chowse this profdssion sna we know whaT WE get oursxledves in6o. you think oyu know ptsdL> ypou ever put yuour friends in a ody bvad? jyou ever see peolpe melted to th eground from an ied. fuck you .spr4eadign this bullthis. oyu know wh0o tis is.

    bootsw onty the ground

  2. Darktimes indeed, check it out you non spelling motherfucker, NO ONE is feeling sorry for you.

    I was a Bradley Driver who witnessed thousands of deaths in 100 hours you fucking puke. I was the Bradly Fighting Vehicle Driver ON Point for the 3rd Brigade, 1st AD. The 1st Brigade and the 2nd Brigade boxed the enemy Division in, then I led 5,000 men through and we killed them all! Go ahead research what my unit did, I fucking dare you. I led our tanks and infantry through a meat grinder; with over 20,000 enemy kills in 100 hours. I had a front row seat.

    I drove for seven days straight without sleep through the biggest tank battle in the history of war. I watched people be vaporized, over and over again, ever seen that you fucking waste.

    I don't know who "Darktimes" is, fucking HIDING behind a fucking pseudonym. I never saw the explosive force of an IED, but I did save a private from stepping on one of our air dispersed anti-personnel mines though.

    This shit ain't even half of it, SO FUCK YOU Darktimes! You hear me?

  3. I HAVE to agree with you...expectations are responsible for 99% of the fighting between my husband and me. I expect him to be reasonable with our kids, he expects the kids to be perfect all of the time, the kids expect Mom to save them from Dad, and this insane cycle repeats itself until we are all ready to kill each other. I wish there was some easy way to shut off the expectations...but then I'm afaid that means giving up hope. And I refuse to not hope for a better life for all of us. So, I will continue to expect great things from my husband, to mask my disappointment when that doesn't happen, and find ways to put a smile on my face and hide my heartache that life isn't how I dreamed it would. Because my husband didn't choose for this shit to happen to him, it was his JOB. And my job isn't to harp on him for what he isn't or what I think he should be...it is to expect him to get better because he isn't going to expect anything better for himself, encourage him to reach my expectations, and kiss him when he falls a little short so he knows that no matter what I love him and eventually yes, eventually life will be better.

  4. Expectations are based in our emotional and physical needs. The problem with expectations is we may not verbalize or fully express them and they become Unspoken Expectations. Another major factor with the Combat PTSD Veteran is emotion identification and reality testing.

    Letting go of our expectations is not to say we must give up on our potential as people and as families. By identifying our expectations, verbalizing them fully and internalizing our partners needs we can begin to mend this aspect of our relationships.


Please share your comments, stories and information. Thank you. ~ Scott Lee