April 30, 2009

Badges of Honor and Integrity

This post is a comment on a question from a post on April 26, 2009, if you want to see the comment click here if not read on.

I wear my memorabilia to display a remembrance of a past war, my war, the Gulf War.

I welcome an open hearted question on the significant of the symbols I wear today. I am at a point in my life where I recognize the anger and animosity felt within and take responsibility for it. By doing so I do not project it onto other people or make others accountable for it, the consequence being acceptance. Today I wear symbols of integrity and character, to remind me that I can achieve my goals even in the face of great adversity.

There was a time that I wore them for other reasons, to immortalize the guilt I still carry today. I left my guys over there, we killed literally thousands upon thousands of Iraqi soldiers, and finally the 30 soldiers that were trying to surrender. The insignias were my badges of guilt and shame, nothing that I wanted to share in a positive way.

When I wrote this piece I was reminded of the anger and rage I felt that encompassed my being and perspective. I was ready to explode and any excuse was the ember that could spark an inferno. I remember that a well formed question could offset this demeanor and open a reverence and grieving process whereby I could speak of the emotional pain. I was both of these people along with many others.

I see the wisdom in your response and accept it as a reminder that most people want to seek answers that only a combat veteran could expound upon. Today I honor this responsibility too speak on the reality of war and the devastating effects upon the person, family and community.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Scott. Long time. I just wanted to say that on this Memorial Day weekend I am thinking of you and of all the service men and women who have served, fought, hurt and died. "Thank you for your service" can never undo the damage you have suffered, but please know it is heartfelt. Thank you for your service.

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  2. Hey Peg! Welcome back, thank you for your best wishes and acknowledgment of my sacrifices and service.

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Please share your comments, stories and information. Thank you. ~ Scott Lee