October 7, 2008

Dissociation in Military PTSD

The term shadow persona refers to that part of the individual we deny yet that commands great influence over our behavior while projecting responsibility onto stimuli in the environment or other persons. The haziness of this lack of fully identifying with self can be discerned, it takes time and commitment to overcome our natural defensive mechanisms that have been etched into the mind stemming from great pain.

In this way it overshadowed my true nature, as if I was a passenger in the vehicle that was my body being driven by a conductor. Seemingly my senses and body would hijack my mind and I could only be a witness looking out as I reflexively reacted to apparent hostility and a viral environment. For me it was more of a forward frontal facade that forcefully identified me more so than conversely while surrendering my personal power.

I still feel its presence, today that part of me truly has become a shadow as I have integrated it into my being and personality. In that way it has less power over me compared to when it dominated my worldview by denying that it existed. By claiming this shadow persona I reclaim its capitalization of my faculties and effectuate my assertions of choice, instead of hiding within the silhouette of my soul and vanquishing determinative values and principles.

God intended for us to claim our being through the humility of practicing principles and integrity, both moral imperatives toward communion with humanity. By doing so we break the hold of our subconscious mind controlling our thoughts, feelings and actions. Reach out and go forth to claim all that you are and will become, in doing so you will control the consequences of your actions and gain a new freedom never before experienced.

2 comments:

  1. This concept of shadow persona explains so much about me. Seeing my secondary PTSD compulsions as a constant side show to my physical life helps me understand why the physical rarely meshes with my internal thought process. I feel less of a liar now. Thank you. The challenge now is to integrate the shadow persona with the present interactions I have with other people. Or better said, to integrate the external interactions with Shadow Persona my own true love. Why do I elevate SP's needs and whims over my "real life"? I read the post about acting out against others to keep the adrenalin going and have recognised that about myself for years. I have managed that well once I understood what I was doing. Funny though when I spoke to others about it, even those whose buttons I was pushing, they all denied I would ever start something just to get an adrenaline high. It is good to find reality here thank you for recommending years 2008-2009. I will continue reading.

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  2. You are welcome, and thank you for commenting. Keep reading and God bless you.

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