December 13, 2017

Complex PTSD and Out of Body Experiences

Robert Lanza, the author of Biocentrism, is a heralded biologist, and a leading quantum theorist. He posits that we live inside a galactic entity, that all matter contains some amount of consciousness. He also states that when we die our consciousness returns to the proto-consciousness that permeates the cosmos.
In 2007, Lanza published a feature article, “A New Theory of the Universe” in The American Scholar, a leading intellectual journal which has previously published works by Albert Einstein, Margaret Mead, and Carl Sagan, among others. His theory places biology above the other sciences in an attempt to solve one of nature’s biggest puzzles, the theory of everything that other disciplines have been pursuing for the last century. This new view has become known as Biocentrism.
It has been said by other scientists that this is the source of out-of-body experiences. I have had three out-of-body experiences. One time during an encounter with a bottle neck of our tanks, I popped out of my Bradley Fighting Vehicle, so that I could see 360. I was able to know where to place the rest of the brigade into protected positions.

The first time, I traveled the universe as a child during a traumatic event. When I was 5 years old a man raped me. The only memory I have of it was an Angel like being, that took my hand and pulled me out of my body.

From then on, my memory was blocked from remembering what happened. But, I knew something terrible had happened to me. My father had friends that were pedophiles, they would have parties and with all the kids over. Their parents would get drunk, some would chase the kids.

During those parties, I was raped. After, in my mind I became a superhero. I would punch, kick and scream at any adult that came near the kids. When they came running towards me, whoever was following had me challenging them. “I will kill you in your sleep!”  This went on for a couple of years.

At the age of 44 I had a hallucination so vivid, it triggered a psychotic break. My body was forced down from an unseen force. When I was on the floor wondering what the fuck was going on this time, I realized the pressure on my hips felt like giant hands. I started screaming, as the fragmented memories came back. He was in me again.

I have one alter, so far. He is 5 years old and very mischievous. The only time he has taken control of me as an adult that I know of, was at a bar with some friends in a blackout drunk.

I only remembered after my friends explained my actions to me. When they described what I did and said, some of his memories came to the front. It was the childish behavior and thoughts coming to me that allowed me to know his mind. He was separate from me. It was him that was in control of my actions and perceptions that night.

The kernel of my traumatizations is finally revealed.


  1. i am so sorry for your experience. i suffer CPTSD from similar events that i blocked and disassociated from over a 40 year period. knowing that you also had combat trauma along with this is unbearable. i am looking for ways to live without anxiety on a day by day, sometimes minute by minute basis. best to you for sharing your experiences.

    1. Thank you for responding. Living with complex PTSD is difficult for anyone, no matter how they contracted the diagnosis. Don't discount your experience. Keep reading, comment when you have questions.


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