December 13, 2017

Complex PTSD and Out of Body Experiences

Robert Lanza, the author of Biocentrism, is a heralded biologist, and a leading quantum theorist. He posits that we live inside a galactic entity, that all matter contains some amount of consciousness. He also states that when we die our consciousness returns to the proto-consciousness that permeates the cosmos.
In 2007, Lanza published a feature article, “A New Theory of the Universe” in The American Scholar, a leading intellectual journal which has previously published works by Albert Einstein, Margaret Mead, and Carl Sagan, among others. His theory places biology above the other sciences in an attempt to solve one of nature’s biggest puzzles, the theory of everything that other disciplines have been pursuing for the last century. This new view has become known as Biocentrism.

It has been said by other scientists that this is the source of out-of-body experiences. I have had three out-of-body experiences. One time during an encounter with a bottle neck of our tanks, I popped out of my Bradley Fighting Vehicle, so that I could see 360. I was able to know where to place the rest of the brigade into protected positions.

The first time, I traveled the universe as a child during a traumatic event. When I was 5 years old a man raped me. The only memory I have of it was an Angel like being, that took my hand and pulled me out of my body.

From then on, my memory was blocked from remembering what happened. But, I knew something terrible had happened to me. My father had friends that were pedophiles, they would have parties and with all the kids over. Their parents would get drunk, some would chase the kids.

During those parties, I was raped. After, in my mind I became a superhero. I would punch, kick and scream at any adult that came near the kids. When they came running towards me, whoever was following had me challenging them. “I will kill you in your sleep!”  This went on for a couple of years.

At the age of 44 I had a hallucination so vivid, it triggered a psychotic break. My body was forced down from an unseen force. When I was on the floor wondering what the fuck was going on this time, I realized the pressure on my hips felt like giant hands. I started screaming, as the fragmented memories came back. He was in me again.

December 12, 2017

On the Issue of Transgender People in the Military

Let me break it down, if you are here to learn or share. If you are here for nefarious reasons, I reserve the right to make fun of you. To educate the masses, of course.

All of the arguments against transgender people serving have already been answered. It's true. Hold on, let me explain.

It's the same arguments used against all minorities before they were given the same rights. They did the same to African-Americans, and women, serving in the military in the first half of last century.

Then they questioned the wisdom of women in combat decades later. And AGAIN, recently in combat roles such as the infantry and special forces. Women grunts serve today. The same tired arguments will soon be put to rest.

But, before I get into why they should be openly allowed in the military. Let me say that transgender people go through, arguably (if you are a bigot, or racist, or have hate in your heart), the worst public shamming, ridicule and violence. Add family rejection, the transgender population suffers from a high rate of suicide.

If it was a choice, they would just change their mind, rather than kill themselves. People who are transgender have to be tough to stand up and openly identify with who they are, with the opposition coming from all directions.

They did, do, and will make fierce warriors.

I would argue that transgender people have served since the beginning. LGBT people use to serve under the "Don't ask, don't tell" doctrine. Before that? Well, they didn't tell then either.

LGBT Marines, soldiers, airmen, seamen and Coast Guard hid their identity until Obama said they could serve openly. Then 45 tried to take it back until the courts, rightly so, shut him down. Now, here we are debating what's already been debated, and proved.

No one is calling for different standards, so take that argument where it might get a bite. The same argument was used against women. The military did not reduce the standards for women in combat roles. I reject that bait, trolls.

If you still insist on questioning the wisdom of transgender people serving in the military. First, I want you to consider that you might be a racist or bigot. Hold your judgement till the end, please. If that doesn't capture your character, and need some more clarification. Please read on.

For those of you confused by the terms;

A transgender person is someone who identifies as the opposite sex they were born with. Not all trans people take hormones, or transition. Most transgender people only transition half the way, as hormone therapy is cheaper than surgery. Also in some states the laws keep people from transitioning, and or delay the process for years. Plus the stigma and fear. Some, they fully transition.

A cross-dresser is a straight (yes, straight men wear dresses), bi or gay man that like to dress in women's clothes. I have never heard a transgender person call themselves a cross-dresser.

As for the medication argument;

Say a straight soldier, he or she, has a medical issue where they start producing less or more of one hormone. He needs testosterone replacement therapy, so that he will not grow breast. If he waits too long, his hips and face will also start taking on a feminine shape.

Or, say a female soldier started producing too much testosterone and grew facial and body hair? She too risks waiting too long, her face and body structure will begin to morph from the increase in muscles.

Would you deny that, straight soldier, a hormone treatment they needed to appear the sex they identify with? You will not die from this condition (answers you give may determine, if you have a tenancy for bigotry and racism - you can change).

Also, think about this. The military is having a hard time filling slots. They are opening all positions to everyone in order to make their quotas. If they cannot maintain readiness, they will have to institute a draft.

Equality for all is a basic human right.

April 19, 2016

Fear and Loathing in Iraq

Fear and Loathing in Iraq

...see if I can remember
hold on..

Act One:

We gotta address
the silence,
taking us out.

It’s an honor
to mediate
the psychology
of death.

To witness
an
atrocity
is a
life sentence
of
suicidal thinking.

To atone,
live,
die
or share.

Act Two:

Boom!

Driving under
the hump of night,
streaking red lights
across the sky.

Rocket plum-trails
flung,
strings of clouds
illuminated by flights
of fire.

Over the oval
periscope
night vision screen,
white interior
tan armored can.

Ordnance ringing
shock waves
and
reason escape
toward
my steel embrace.

Make a living
they said,
a button and bomb
war
you say.

Not by my witness.

On the
ragged edges
of thought deception.
With
canyons
of memories
gone.

Over 24,000 dead.
In a
three day
glory orgy
massacre.

An angry
long-range rocket
glare.
Depleted uranium rounds
beware.

Act Two, Scene Two:

Public relations
Downplayed
the ground war.
Oral history
Against
the
idiot box
repeaters.
Sling back
my pain;
hung, slung and sprung
for you.

With a twisted retort
they say,
“...you know,
smart bombs
bursting in air...”
On soldiers
without a chance,
eating bags
of rotten tomatoes
and not enough rice,
or ammo
for a fight.

100 hour ground war,
Infantry
pointing tanks
to kill.
A Saudi oil storm
and the
oligarchy
holds our hands.

Keep it in the ground,
or genocide the world.

Act Three, Take Two:

172 hours
straight,
to witness
a three-day
massacre.

We
were out of range,
They
were not.
On the edge
of insanity.

Little green men
running around
on fire
in my periscope.

Part Two, Scene Three:

Infantry
guiding our tanks
into place
to fire upon
tomato eaters.

Best path
for a contingent
of
Apache's and Warthogs
strafing,
pinning them down.

Apaches out front
raining hellfire
And a
50 cal machine gun
Hammering
little green stick men
into the ground.

Part..:

I cannot fucking remember
until waking dreams
and nightmares.
Scanning sectors
and
best kill boxes.

So many
lost
to the edge.
An alternative reality
next to you.

A Lost Scene;

Where I was
when you asked,
"...you okay?"

“Yeah...I'm okay.”

Another gurgling
conversation
I'm missing.
They don't want
To hear
why
cluster bombs
are bad.

Private Dumbass
and I were walking
through burned out
hulls.
Got my section covered
when he says,
"Hey, look over here!"

With his leg
cocked back
attacking my eye.
I grabbed him
slamming him
in my sector.

A
shiny can
with
Eight spider legs
sprawling out.

Cool!

I'd wanna kick it too,
if I were two.
He thanked me
after I said,
"You almost got us
both killed!"

Epilogue:

I am a container
of that which splintered
singularly,
forcing the aperture
through which
I find my reality.

We tell a soldier or veteran
of war
Welcome Home
Because
the battle
never leaves us,
as we return
from conflict
every day of our lives.

My shit
still tries
to kill me,
my war
1991.

Scott A. Lee © 2016

#veteransuicide  #22aDay  #MoreLike55aDay  #RaiseAREDflag