tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8207713177773691778.post476233510320514424..comments2023-06-28T07:59:16.685-04:00Comments on PTSD: A Soldier's Perspective: Darkness Visible, Depression, and Suicidal IdeationScott Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17861938200417302754noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8207713177773691778.post-11359662581841835682013-10-18T06:17:23.464-04:002013-10-18T06:17:23.464-04:00Jerry, thank you for reading and keeping a willing...Jerry, thank you for reading and keeping a willingness to our group. This only feels like the final battle due to your carrying the weight by yourself for so long. We can shoulder some of this for you, keep coming back, going to therapy, writing and learning about how to cope with your condition. It can be done and we can help you get there. You are doing a great job of reaching out and seeking help. It will be a long road, but we will be there with you the whole way brother. We need you, I need you to know that you are loved and have a place in our group. Scott Leehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17861938200417302754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8207713177773691778.post-20837409516195908132013-10-17T23:27:45.507-04:002013-10-17T23:27:45.507-04:00I can follow this frame of mind since my triggers...I can follow this frame of mind since my triggers seem to just pop up on thier own whims, I have often wondered if continuing the charade of life was even worth it anymore. I mean afterall I have already pushed away anyone that gave a shit for this old warhorse. It has been 30 years since my demons have come home to roost, I have been fighting these nightmares for so long and am just to tired to fight them anymore. I promised to give your PTSD group a chance and I will, you folks are my last hope so lets hope you can assist me with winning my final battle.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8207713177773691778.post-9197787543830312882013-09-26T18:12:22.559-04:002013-09-26T18:12:22.559-04:00You keep what you are doing too. This is a great p...You keep what you are doing too. This is a great piece of work!Joehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03054354524866771554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8207713177773691778.post-65680916402674257772013-09-25T21:12:01.695-04:002013-09-25T21:12:01.695-04:00Thank you, Kerry, I am glad my account has helped ...Thank you, Kerry, I am glad my account has helped make the situation a little clearer. Depression often gets framed as a negative outlook out on life. And there's some truth to that. But it is rooted in a negative outlook on yourself. --The AuthorAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8207713177773691778.post-44007804701697953442013-09-25T15:59:37.596-04:002013-09-25T15:59:37.596-04:00Thank you for the kind words, Joe. I am certainly ...Thank you for the kind words, Joe. I am certainly not ashamed of the things I have written and there are several people close to me I showed the piece before I submitted it to PASP. However, not long after it was written, I had a major death in the family and some other stressors popped up for those around me. Honestly, had I not had this realization beforehand, it would have been a lot tougher to manage. The anonymous part is for the family's sake, not mine. I know I say people don't talk about these things because they're afraid of alarming their loved ones, but given the circumstances, as well as the fact that suicide has already touched my family, I have chosen to let the words speak for themselves here. Certainly no shame. And I admire your strength and openness, too. Keep writing, I enjoy the posts. --The Author Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8207713177773691778.post-41417742577538210832013-09-25T15:30:28.773-04:002013-09-25T15:30:28.773-04:00I have been carrying the weight of suicidal ideati...I have been carrying the weight of suicidal ideation for for almost ten years. All I can can say is from where I am now to when I was the most lost that I took one small step when there was no end in sight, or even posses the capability to perceived relief. Some people say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and that can be true only based on your response to it. What you do now matters more than you know and when your in the Hellish parts the key things is to do all you can do for yourself and those you love. You are clearly doing it by trying to listen.<br /><br />I would only urge you to take ownership the you that you are now regardless of how you have changed because that is the first step to being the you that you want to be or have been before PTSD. I happily have something wrong with my brain. I am happy to own it with all of its baggage. Who you are now may not be who you want to be, but I am sure he's is doing a lot better than you think. It takes time and effort to have the burden of suicidal ideation and be the person that you are: to live to your ideals. But I have had to own both of those things. Be the real damaged and disable me while not giving up on the dreams I had prior to combat. I couldn't be accomplishing both without being ok with my mental illness, sometimes even proud to have it. <br /><br />You're here now and that says something good about you, at the lowest point you found a way to listen. That is emotional depth and your capacity to express it is impressive as well. I am optimistic, because you learned to take that single positive step with no end in sight. Just look at the ground and take the next and the next, and let the relief of this time work itself out on its own. <br /><br />I can't express to you how great it feels for me now. How proud I am of myself when I held an 40 cal to my head and decided to keep pushing. I was so ashamed of it then, but now I am so grateful that I did what you're doing right now. I certainly couldn't command language the way you did back then and I am in awe of what you have written.<br /><br />JoeJoehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03054354524866771554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8207713177773691778.post-41521442729675130342013-09-24T23:28:48.615-04:002013-09-24T23:28:48.615-04:00Thank you for being brave enough to share this sto...Thank you for being brave enough to share this story. It has helped my understanding. If you help one vet with your writing, you have given a great gift. Kerry Leehttp://kerrylee.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8207713177773691778.post-10098036836127159352013-09-24T22:37:36.561-04:002013-09-24T22:37:36.561-04:00Thank you for posting this to PASP. I have talked ...Thank you for posting this to PASP. I have talked with a lot of our fellow veterans and others dealing with mental illness and many of them claim to have the same kinds of dark thoughts. Maybe some will relate and listening will help them. Maybe not. Thanks for reading in either case! --The AuthorAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8207713177773691778.post-2090143126159474362013-09-24T22:31:53.743-04:002013-09-24T22:31:53.743-04:00Thank you for posting this to PASP. I have talked ...Thank you for posting this to PASP. I have talked with a lot of our fellow veterans and others dealing with mental illness and many of them claim to have the same kinds of dark thoughts. Maybe some will relate and listening will help them. Maybe not. Thanks for reading in either case! --The AuthorAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com