May 7, 2010

Wartime Trauma Versus Childhood Trauma

For the last year or better whenever I am stressed or have highly emotional experiences I find myself being brought back into my wartime memories, flashbacks, emotions and perspective.

I was having a conversation the other day with someone close to me about the possibility that my wartime trauma may be getting in the way of healing from my childhood traumas. She suggested that I have a pattern of submerging myself within my wartime trauma to avoid healing from my childhood trauma. I talked to my therapist yesterday about my childhood issues and as we talked she commented that it appeared I had done a lot of work in that area. I was pleased to have her discern the 18 months of therapy that I spent on the topic. I do have more work to do in this area, but I think that my wartime trauma gets in the way of my recovery today.

My therapist and I made a deal to begin processing my wartime trauma with Acceptance Commitment Therapy and EMDR in conjunction.

(After reading this I realized that I spent too much time on my childhood trauma lately [before a couple of months ago] that I was unable to test reality against each other because I would get false positives out of it. In that, had I tested reality against others around me. I couldn't do that well with others in my family because they also carry the triggers of war...I battled on

I hear the chatter on the intercom of the division radio within my BFV, when I put on my new hearing aids I was transported back in combat, I had my headset on, I looked around to check if it was real...and it was....till I realized the hurting in my ear and remembered that my new hearing aid was probably hurting. But the Veil of Combat did not come down until I removed the hearing aid....)

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